According to a study titled, The Role of Emotion Inhibition in Psychological Distress, by Thomas R. Lynch, PhD, Duke University, experts believe that invalidation is a major contributor to emotional disorders. Invalidation lacks compassion. Invalidation shames. And invalidation is a subtlety loud and damaging form of emotional emotional. How Invalidation Makes You Feel Like You Are:
Ways you Can Stop Yourself From Succumbing to InvalidationAffirmations and mantras are great. But, if you are one to truly suffer from self-invalidation or find yourself around individuals who regularly solicit external/emotional/manipulative invalidation, the fight to reclaim your self-love might need a little more elbow grease. An article by Meghan Breen, LCSW, and NYC Therapist titled Self Invalidation: a Subtle, Pervasive Form of Self Abuse. Fight Back! suggests five ways to stop this emotional abuse. Two of my favorites were "Observe your self talk" and "Be gentle". We have to stop placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves! Another way to combat this rising self-destructive tendency is to stop trying to diminish our experiences. We only disregard our pain when this happens. "You can't heal an emotional wound with logic." My folly is comparing where I am in my life to others success. And thankfully, I have a mother who is very quick to stop me every time this train of thought begins to manifest itself! My self-invalidation has been prevalent since college. More recently, financial setbacks have fallen in my lap making Invalidation's damaging presence known. Then, the constant questions such as, "When is it my turn?" or "What did I do to deserve this?"; or statements like, "I should realize how blessed I am instead of feeling sorry for myself." filter through my brain and occasionally pass through my lips. Here, Ms. Breen's tip of being gentle to my situation needs to be my number one defense!
External invalidation was repeatedly happening to me for the past few years without me realizing it until I did the research for this post. In order to preserve my boundaries and begin the process of self-love, these individuals have been either completely removed or are now a reduced presence in my life.
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